The Coronavirus Crisis Will Be The Defining Moment Of Your Life
Recently my mentor Darren Hardy suggested that I choose to make this Coronavirus crisis the defining moment of my life.
What would it take for that to be true?
A terrible crisis? Make that the defining moment of my life?
Not Brynne walking down the aisle or Eden’s birth or Trey’s adoption day?
We Only Grow In The Hard Times
While on its face this seems like a crazy idea the more I think about it the more intriguing it is. The truth is we rarely learn anything of significance when things are good and we are winning. Brynne walking down the aisle was the most beautiful moment of my life but it didn’t make me a better husband.
All of my most important life lessons have been painful and hard-won. I pretty much exclusively grow in the midst of failure, humiliation, and suffering.
Also, as I think of my heroes, they are all men and women who led with strength in the midst of crisis and suffering. This is especially true of Jesus.
Think about that for a minute.
Where Do We Find Meaning?
Victor Frankl, an Austrian psychologist who survived the holocaust and wrote the classic “Man’s Search for Meaning” boiled down our deep desire for meaning into three critical elements (John’s paraphrased version).
1. The need for deep community
2. The need for our lives to have a purpose beyond ourselves
3. The need for a belief system that can find meaning in the suffering and hardship and mysteries of life.
The first two categories are items that we can work on in good times but I believe that this third, and perhaps most important, point can only be learned when you’re in the middle of the storm (or looking back on the storm in hindsight).
Finding Meaning In The Coronavirus Crisis
This terribly difficult season offers us an opportunity to lean in and learn all that the crisis has to teach us. Most of us are asking how we can be more comfortable when we should be asking why we are uncomfortable in the first place.
The very normal and understandable temptation for all of us is to default to survival.
So what I’m asking myself right now is this….
What would have to happen by the end of this for me to have made this the defining moment of my life? The moment when everything changed and I got closer to actually living like the person God created me to be?
Who do I want to be on the other side of this?
And finally, the question I have thought the most about….
What do I want those closest to me to remember about me from this Coronavirus crisis season?
I have found this question to be the most helpful of all for me. Here are a few of the most important people in my life and how I’m hoping they will remember me when this is all a memory
- Christ will remember this as a time where we were more connected and closer friends than ever. He will be proud of how I showed people the father in my actions, attitude, and sacrificial love.
- Brynne will feel loved, cared for, empathized with, and supported. She will know more than ever that she is my absolute priority above myself, my work, and even our kids. In future hard times, she will be able to look back on this and remind herself that she never has to doubt my dedication or love.
- Eden and Trey will remember the extra time we had together and how present and undistracted I was with them. They will remember how I comforted them during the crappy times and intentionally created fun memories to make this less burdensome on them.
- My team will feel honored, led, cared for, and supported. They will remember the way the team rallied around each other in encouragement and support and grace. They will all remember the pain and all that this is costing us and grieve for what was lost. They will remember how we all found a way to derive meaning from even the hardest parts of this.
And my final question, what needs to change or happen for all of that to be true?
My hope is that in sharing this I hold myself more accountable to being the man I hope to be and describe above.
I’d love to hear what questions your asking of yourself during this trying time.
Here’s to our growth…. be safe.